I have been a mom now for roughly six years and a rough six years it has been. Rewarding of course, fulfilling of course, but also rough. Not many parents like to talk about the rough side of parenting. We have a huge amount of ambivalence admitting parenting can be hard, and lonely. We do not like to associate society’s undesirable emotions with parenting. We all tend to put on a brave face and talk about all the positives, rather than admitting how bumpy the road of parenting can be.
Do not worry – I am not going to use this forum for moaning about how rough parenting can be. I hope to share my experiences and make the road to parenting a little lighter for all those who follow my journey.
Back to me: I am a mom of three kids that I adore – two boys (aged 4 and 5) and one girl (aged 3). Do the math that was three children in three years! My husband likes to refer to them as the ‘Irish triplets.’
Three kids in three years is enough to make you the shell of the person you once used to be. I work damn hard at not losing sense of the person I am, and not letting motherhood be all consuming.
My other challenge is that my oldest son is on the autistic spectrum. Naturally that makes parenting even more of a challenge and even more daunting. Hell it redefines you as a person and makes life just plain scary!
Since my son’s diagnosis, it has been three intense years of self-exploration. This has involved redefining the parent that I am – a definition that is constantly evolving and constantly elevating my low level of patience to a new level. I have had to accept that although I am an A-type, goal driven person, I can no longer simply live a linear life, where I like to tick things off the list and move along to the next item that needs my attention. Life has become very circular and many of the things I think I have completed or dealt with come back again and again and again. Sometimes I feel that they haunt me. And dealing with needs, my children’s needs, and my husbands needs, oh apparently I also have needs! That was a daunting reality to me.
But it has also been a road where I have gained many expertise and knowledge about my self of course, my son and his condition, parenting in general and parenting a child with special needs.
That is the aim of this space. To journal my experiences and share them. To hopefully bring a little light to those who may be embarking on a similar journey, and to share issues and ideas with those already well on the path. Join me as we explore this daunting, amazing, scary, joyous excursion of mother-hood.
By Amber Tucker